Yes, I’m still alive!! I took a much needed, long overdue, social media break. No Instagram, no Facebook, just Snapchat, which I used seldomly. 2016 was amazing, and I couldn’t have asked for a better year, but I had some major self-reflection time that made me question who I was on social media.
I’ve been posting on social media daily since the end of 2015, and when I obtained more followers, I posted more frequently. Instagram helped me become accountable and encouraged me to become the best runner and fitness enthusiast I could be.
2016 went out with a bang, I finally ran a full marathon in my favorite city but ended up with some overuse injuries, which are still mending. I explained my frustration in previous posts, went to PT, and continued to post daily on Instagram.
From December 7th to January 9th, I was on a break from school and clinical for my nurse practitioner degree. With the injuries that I sustained, I had a lot of extra time to self-reflect and figure out what I wanted for 2017. There are the obvious PR goals for both the half and full marathon, but also the personal goals.
Honestly, I wasn’t happy with who I was. I was angry or frustrated most of the time and I was becoming very self-involved, only caring about what was going on in my life. Instagram turned into the ‘look at me, look at me!’ page and not the inspirational page I was intending it to be. I wanted my page to encourage others that you CAN run, no matter what size, shape, or experience. To show that even I struggle to run every single time I’m supposed to. That no goal is unattainable. I wanted to post recipes that changed the way of what I thought of food and that eating tacos or french fries every once in awhile wouldn’t kill you.
When looking back on what I was posting, I wasn’t feeling what I wanted or dreamed it to be. It made me sad and upset. I was comparing myself to others, as well as goals. It was giving me satisfaction when I was faster than someone else and made me frustrated or pick myself apart when I wasn’t as fast as others. How horrible is that?! It was so wrong and it made me ashamed of myself.
I deactivated my account right after the new year. It wasn’t until I deactivated it, along with my Facebook, that I realized how much useless time I spent on social media rather than focusing on my husband, family, or friends. It made me disgusted. Then it made me think if I did reactivate it, how much would I post? What would I post? How will I change my page? I don’t know the answers, I just know I have to stay true to myself, while being conscious on how much actual time I spend on social media.
I realized I LOVED seeing friends accomplish their goals, celebrating with them, helping others reach theirs, and sharing my experiences. I didn’t want to give that up. I realized I wanted to keep posting on Instagram and continue to share my experiences.
I still wanted to wait until the end of month to reactivate my Instagram. I still wanted my first month back to school, marathon training, and life to be free of social media posting. I learned a lot this month and I could go on and on about what I learned, but I think I’ll share throughout February what I’ve done differently and how I’ve changed.
So, thank you for all who are still following my journey and was wondering where I was. Your thoughts and concerns made me want to come back. Thank you all for the support and love. I appreciate every one of you!!
Still, Happy Training,
Run Jill Run